The Blind Busker, Hove

The Blind Busker’s basement toilet offers an interesting sensory experience. Unusually warm, noisy and lit by a sickly orange glow, it feels a bit like you’ve walked into the gents on a Naval frigate, such is the encroaching engine-hum of what I assume is some sort of industrial-strength heating system (which would explain the warmth).

Mind you, if people in charge of warships were as bad at aiming as this pub’s punters are, we’d be at war with Denmark. Aside from the haphazard distribution of wee, the toilets are functionally fine, notable only for a rather impressive sink mirror.

But décor is this bathroom’s party piece – or rather was. Where once the room’s large chalkboards distracted the bored urinator with incongruous, not-very-interesting quotes from the likes of Tom Waits and Norm from Cheers, now a fat, bespectacled blue bird presents news of ‘street of the week’, a nifty promotion that offers food and drink discounts to residents of a nominated road. But, alas, there is no street of the week. Instead, our birdy friend chirrups into the void – a blank speech bubble has rarely said so much.

Potty Dance on The Argus. Page three!

Wow look, Potty Dance featured on The Argus. Thank you for all the posts. Let me know if you would like to become a toilet critic too.

Rose Cottage Inn Alciston

These toilets were one of the cleanest I've ever used. New and clean fittings. Handrails, and toilet holder that holds two rolls. Nice display of rocks by the sink. There was a bottle of soap and hand moisturizer. The only thing is that it is right next to the kitchen so it can be a little noisy.

The Lord Derby, Odiham, Hampshire

On first glance these are just your average pub toilets - quite small, but clean and well-equipped. However, while I was washing my hands I noticed a box of treats which had been placed next to the sink for the use of the toilet-goer.

Contents of the box included: Moisturiser, tampons & other sanitary products, hairspray, and some deodorant/body spray.
I didn't make use of any of these items, but I liked the touch. Very friendly.

Note: I later sent my Dad to the gents to see if there were any free giveaways in there. Unfortunately, the answer was no, but he did say there were some paintings of dancing girls on the walls.

Dover Port Ferry Terminal

When you enter the terminal e.g. to buy a ticket a good toilet can be found right around behind the main entrance on the right side. The toilet is clean, considering it is completely public and at a kind of crowded place. It had a slight peachy scent. Not my taste but I definitely could imagine a worse scent. I ve been testing the urinals only. I liked the fact that the sinks were automatic. Just move your hand to start the magical flow of water. Nice. Mirrors and towels made this a complete area for refreshing after/before crossing the channel. I like the fact that people were shaving there. Gives the whole space an international travelers feel.

Four stars and a half for uncompromissed cleanness and an international feel... - Daniel

World Duty Free, Gatwick Airport

This was a good toilet hidden behind the shop. It was very clean and had a sweet strawberry scent. In the spacious cubicle there was a special shelf with extra toilet rolls although there was no hook for the bag. The highlight was the sink area. Decorated by bright sunflower art, many mirrors and the bespoke hand dryer hidden behind the mirror. Derek the architect says that this is not so easy to do. Hiding things behind mirrors so got to be bespoke. Wow.

Yumi enjoying the bespoke sinks.

I give this one an extra half star. I think the strawberry smell was very strong. Like sweets. Maybe too strong...

Everything else was on the ball though.

 - Debbie

Irish ferries, Irish Sea (somewhere between Dublin & Holyhead)

We were lucky enough to travel across the Irish Sea on Jonathan Swift last week (the ferry not the writer) and took the opportunity to sample the facilities at sea.

a. Jonathan Swift (ferry)

b. Jonathan Swift (Irish writer & satirist)

The toilets were well equipped and clean. The doors were very heavy which led to some embarrassment in front of other travellers as I struggled to escape the cubicle. I suspect that heavy doors may be a necessary feature aboard ferries though so I haven't based my score on this factor.

There were some very detailed instructions on how to wash your hands on the wall of the toilets, which we later found to be a common occurrence across Ireland (see exhibit c). One of the steps was to dry your hands with a paper towel and then use a fresh paper towel to turn off the tap. This seemed a bit paranoid to me and as there were no paper towels in the toilets I was unable to complete my hand-washing chore list. It doesn't appear to have done me any harm.

One last feature to mention were the air sickness bags next to the sink. Do people get airsick on ferries?

c. OCD?

The Colonnade, Brighton

Enriched as it is with a sense of thespian glory – it borders Brighton’s Theatre Royal and has surely slaked the thirst of many a cottonmouthed player – you might expect a sense of drama at The Colonnade.

On descending the narrow stairs to the loos, tension is immediately increased by what must be the Georgian building’s least-emphasised highlight – hairy walls. Shouldn’t this sort of thing be on the national news? Permeating the leaden chipboard, wisps of grey downy whisker tickle the hands of those headed underground. There doesn’t appear to be any explanation for this, but the fluff only encroaches from the right-hand side – which is where the theatre is. Coincidence? Unlikely. Are the wisps remnants of Charlotte’s web? Shylock’s rheum-spattered beard? Or a ghost of The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical itself? It’s intriguing, anyway, if probably not terribly hygienic.

After this wonderment, the toilets themselves are pleasingly straightforward. Exceptionally clean in scent and sight, and with soap provided trustingly from a bottle of Carex in place of a nailed-to-the-wall dispenser. The only potential pitfall is as a result of the space’s rather claustrophobic dimensions – gentlemen approaching the sink would be advised to keep an eye on the cubicle door on the right. If it is opened suddenly then expect to be mercilessly smashed into the wall, hand dryer, or man standing awkwardly sideways-on trying to dry his hands. Fortunately, The Colonnade’s clientele are too refined for such clumsiness.

The Honey Club, Brighton

This must be one of the worst toilets I've visited. First of all, it stunk badly. Unusual for girls toilet. The floor was wet the toilet was wet. It was one of those metal toilets which I find cold and unpleasant. What was even worse was that there were no seats on the toilet which meant that I had to squat in an awkward position. All this and it was only the beginning of the night. The only positive was that there were toilet rolls.

Steki, Brighton

The toilets at Steki, a Greek restaurant were clean but very basic. No decoration or special features.  White doors white tiles, white walls, nothing to entertain my visit. The sink is in the cubicle but the hand dryer is outside.

Malta International Airport - Arrivals Airside

Clean toilets with strong smell of cleaning fluid. Perhaps they were trying to impress first time visitors to Malta? I imagine this toilet has seen a lot of abandoned drugs over the years.

Gatwick Airport - North Terminal, Departures Non Airside

Clean spacious toilets, but the smell was horrendous. Good hand dryers though.

The Hobgoblin, Brighton

These toilets were a bit of a treat as they have chalkboards on the back of the cubicle doors for entertainment. A lovely feature!

On the whole the toilets were quite average. Unfortunately they had those metal toilet bowls, usually found in unpleasant places such as public toilets or the Honey club.

The chalk boards were definitely a redeeming feature though and hopefully will prevent people from writing nonsense all over the rest of the walls with biro & lipstick.

Hammersmith Apollo

I was at Hammersmith Apollo to see Ross Noble and had never been to this venue before. I was impressed by the place overall and my first visit to the toilets didn't dampen my mood - it was bright and clean and we didn't have to queue and everything was shiny (as you can tell by the picture of the taps on the left).

During the interval I made my second visit and the toilets were packed. We had to queue for some time and there were two lines which were confusing people (although one was for the men's and the other for the women's, so maybe not that confusing...) The toilets were struggling to meet with demand - paper was running out and there was no room to move. I was just glad not to have come into close contact with the hysterical woman sitting nearby in the auditorium. (Not that Ross Noble wasn't funny - it's just that no-one finds things that funny....do they?!!??)

Arundel carpark

I didn't enjoy this sunday afternoon toilet stop at all. I don't think it represents Arundel very well, which is a very quaint town indeed with lots of little antiques shops, cafes and a wonderful castle.

The main problem was the smell. It stank really strongly of wee, and for a women's toilet, this is (fortunately) quite unusual. It was also quite dark, cold and very old (but not in a nice antiquey way).

There was enough toilet roll, but I was still too scared to sit on the seat. This is the kind of place one might inject illegal substances and I shall not be visiting again.

Royal Oak, Fritham

The toilets in this lovely pub in the New Forest were in a separate building from the pub, a kind of Portacabin style block that you had to walk through a marquee to get to. A bit weird, but I guess it means more space for tables inside by the fire, rather than toilets taking up space in the pub itself.

The toilets were well stocked, almost too well - 5 rolls of toilet paper in each cubicle seems excessive, but better than not enough I suppose. Nice fragrant aroma, clean but very basic. No hand driers.

The Ploughman's Platter at the pub more than makes up for the bog-standard (sorry) toilets here.

Nasza, Brighton

The facilities in this Polish restaurant are my favourite to date.
Very spacious unisex toilets with scented candles, plants & a basket full of hand towels.
Great.


Image courtesy of Mike Darlow

The Arc, Bury St Edmunds

Brand new shopping centre with unsurprisingly brand new toilets. Clean, well lighted, warm and everything worked! I hope they keep this up!

Black Boy, Bury St Edmunds

Average pub toilets. A bit smelly but had soap, hot water and a working hand dryer.

The Regal, Cambridge

Very large and clean toilets, however was instructed by poster on the wall to flush urinal when finished.

The rating is hardly surprising as with all (well most) chain pubs there is a rigid policy on toilet cleaning. In this case they were inspected hourly!

The Sir Charles Napier, Hanover

I liked these toilets as I felt a bit like I was in a cottage (the door handles were very low). There are quite low ceilings so maybe not the best location for tall people. Well-stocked though, and the morris dancers are friendly!

Jury's Inn, Brighton

This is another of my favourites. It doesn't feel like toilets in a hotel. Nothing fancy. But always very clean. Whenever I've been there's no one in there, lots of cubicles to choose from.  Good privacy. There is a full length mirror and music playing. To avoid walking through the reception, I usually use the side door when leaving. I am considering nominating this toilet for 2011 Loo of the Year Awards.

Baker Street Underground Station

The most important thing about these toilets is that they appear to be the last of the few station toilets for which you don't have to part with 30 pence to spend a penny...

They've always been clean when I've been in them - wouldn't say the lighting is particularly inviting though, and they have those really irritating taps which you have to press with one hand whilst washing the other. In my experience the hand driers always work and there's almost always paper in all of the toilets.

One of the best things about these toilets is the amount of conversation you get to overhear from all sorts of people. (Wouldn't be surprised if Sherlock Holmes solved some of his cases with information heard here. Although that would mean he was hiding out in the ladies.) Last time there was a lady crying in one of the cubicles and then having a massive row with someone on her mobile in a foreign language. (Not a nice thing to hear but interesting all the same...) It's also a favourite spot for people touching up their makeup and sorting their hair before continuing on their journey as it has large mirrors.

Some people may find it a little dingy, but I like them. They're free!!

You're Welcome Scheme (Brighton & Hove)

The You're Welcome Community Toilet Scheme advertises businesses who let the general public use their toilet facilities. More info here.

Open Market, London Road, Brighton

(image from Elizabeth on Flickr)

I have been here twice recently, both times unpleasant. The cubicles are very cramped, you can barely close the door without touching the toilet bowl with your leg. It is also absolutely freezing and the lighting is very dingy.

On the first visit, there was old wet tissue which looked like it had been pushed with a mop into the corner, and an old plaster on the sanitary bin. The second visit, there appeared to be crusted old sick or something similar underneath the toilet seat. Horrid. The toilet attendant (who is there full-time, and in my opinion isn't doing his job very well) was standing in the doorway of the ladies toilets smoking a cigarette the whole time I was in there, which made me feel on edge. There is only one sink - the old metal ones where you put your hands into the wall and there are different buttons for soap, water, air. It seemed clean, but both times, the hand dryer wasn't working and there was a full bin of paper towels overflowing onto the floor. No mirrors either, although I wouldn't dare linger in there long enough to use one.

The only redeeming features is that they are free to use, and there was toilet seat sanitiser in all of the cubicles. Other than that, would only use again in an emergency.