The Colonnade, Brighton

Enriched as it is with a sense of thespian glory – it borders Brighton’s Theatre Royal and has surely slaked the thirst of many a cottonmouthed player – you might expect a sense of drama at The Colonnade.

On descending the narrow stairs to the loos, tension is immediately increased by what must be the Georgian building’s least-emphasised highlight – hairy walls. Shouldn’t this sort of thing be on the national news? Permeating the leaden chipboard, wisps of grey downy whisker tickle the hands of those headed underground. There doesn’t appear to be any explanation for this, but the fluff only encroaches from the right-hand side – which is where the theatre is. Coincidence? Unlikely. Are the wisps remnants of Charlotte’s web? Shylock’s rheum-spattered beard? Or a ghost of The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical itself? It’s intriguing, anyway, if probably not terribly hygienic.

After this wonderment, the toilets themselves are pleasingly straightforward. Exceptionally clean in scent and sight, and with soap provided trustingly from a bottle of Carex in place of a nailed-to-the-wall dispenser. The only potential pitfall is as a result of the space’s rather claustrophobic dimensions – gentlemen approaching the sink would be advised to keep an eye on the cubicle door on the right. If it is opened suddenly then expect to be mercilessly smashed into the wall, hand dryer, or man standing awkwardly sideways-on trying to dry his hands. Fortunately, The Colonnade’s clientele are too refined for such clumsiness.

The Honey Club, Brighton

This must be one of the worst toilets I've visited. First of all, it stunk badly. Unusual for girls toilet. The floor was wet the toilet was wet. It was one of those metal toilets which I find cold and unpleasant. What was even worse was that there were no seats on the toilet which meant that I had to squat in an awkward position. All this and it was only the beginning of the night. The only positive was that there were toilet rolls.

Steki, Brighton

The toilets at Steki, a Greek restaurant were clean but very basic. No decoration or special features.  White doors white tiles, white walls, nothing to entertain my visit. The sink is in the cubicle but the hand dryer is outside.

The Hobgoblin, Brighton

These toilets were a bit of a treat as they have chalkboards on the back of the cubicle doors for entertainment. A lovely feature!

On the whole the toilets were quite average. Unfortunately they had those metal toilet bowls, usually found in unpleasant places such as public toilets or the Honey club.

The chalk boards were definitely a redeeming feature though and hopefully will prevent people from writing nonsense all over the rest of the walls with biro & lipstick.

Nasza, Brighton

The facilities in this Polish restaurant are my favourite to date.
Very spacious unisex toilets with scented candles, plants & a basket full of hand towels.
Great.


Image courtesy of Mike Darlow

The Sir Charles Napier, Hanover

I liked these toilets as I felt a bit like I was in a cottage (the door handles were very low). There are quite low ceilings so maybe not the best location for tall people. Well-stocked though, and the morris dancers are friendly!

Jury's Inn, Brighton

This is another of my favourites. It doesn't feel like toilets in a hotel. Nothing fancy. But always very clean. Whenever I've been there's no one in there, lots of cubicles to choose from.  Good privacy. There is a full length mirror and music playing. To avoid walking through the reception, I usually use the side door when leaving. I am considering nominating this toilet for 2011 Loo of the Year Awards.

The Quadrant, Brighton

Not such a good one here. It looked like someone had been sick (a long time ago...?) on the back of the toilet and there was an overpowering smell of coconut air freshener. Not so fresh.

The downstairs toilet might have been better.

myhotel Brighton

This is one of my favourite toilet. I like the curved walls,the red sink at an angle, a quote in the cubicle. Keeps my eyes engaged. Dyson hand dryer. It feel like being in an aquarium rather than a toilet.


Very nice. But half a star deducted from me for the confusing mirrors.
- Debbie

Tic Toc cafe, Brighton

Nice plants & interesting toilet roll storage. Well stocked.
There were lots of paper towels on the floor, but it was reported that these had been tidied up a bit later.

Additional comments: Great bacon sandwich, and blankets for cold knees. Nice cafe.

Queens Park Toilets, Brighton

A very large toilet, with several types of toilet inside. Unfortunately it was very smelly with various bodily fluids all over the floor and walls. On the plus side, there was soap, water and drying facilities so on that fact alone it gets 2 stars.



roomy but smelly. not sure how reliable it is. it's not always open.

yumi



Convenient for picnics, but awfully smelly and untidy.
There is a strange seat attached to the wall. Can anyone tell me what this is for?
- Debbie